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It was a sparkling summers day, Zane and I had spent it at the beach with friends snorkelling and soaking up the sunshine. We curled up in bed that evening to watch a movie,
I felt a trickle between my legs, and then a little more. ‘Did I just wet the bed”, I thought.
More sticky fluid leaked between my legs. I rushed with excitement ‘I think my waters just broke!”. Words fall short in describing the joy we felt as we began to prepare to meet our son. We set up our bedroom and the birth altar, then smudged one another and the space. We tuned in and meditated together, then read my birth innovation.
As I read each sentence, light language slipped from my lips, sealing the spell and our intentions.
We then tried to get back to watching the film, knowing that it might be a while before things really kicked off. I was already experiencing a warmth and ache in my womb which soon turned into a pattern of surges. I welcomed each rush and was surprised at how fast they were coming. Zane and I timed them on an app, it wasn’t long and we were greeted with the notification to go to hospital. We had planned to birth at home so we just let our doula and midwife know that things were kicking off. I put on my birth ceremony playlist and started to tune into my baby and my body, moving and breathing intuitively.
Our doula/oxytocin guardian arrived around midnight and really helped us in flowing with labour. I was loving the journey. I felt strong, powerful and euphoric. I lost my sense of time and was surprised as the sun peaked through the curtains.
Leading up to the birth, my baby was posterior, it had been a week since anyone had checked his position. I had been doing plenty of yoga and asking him to move into the ideal position for birth. Our midwife and doula were convinced he was still in this position and said that we wouldn’t be expecting his arrival until the evening. Posterior labours can be more challenging and it can seem like you are further along than you are.
So It was recommended that I try and have something to eat and get some rest.
Our doula bid her farewell and we were left to our own devices.
We opted for a change of scenery and ventured to our backyard, bringing a rug and a didgeridoo. Our household was going about their Monday morning routine as I paced the backyard barefoot, the summer sun kissing my skin. I felt one with mama nature, completely held and supported on the Earth. I tried to lay down and rest but found it more painful, my body felt best when I was active. I walked laps around our backyard. I started to feel the need to poop. The next surge ran through my body with a new level of intensity.
I moaned powerfully and wondered what the neighbours might think.
I was curious how far along I really was, so I put my fingers inside to feel.
There was something soft and squishy, at the time I described it as a bubble. Ha!
I didn’t know if it was our baby or my cervix. I asked Zane to feel too and see what he thought. He could definitely feel what I described as a bubble but then exclaimed ‘I’m not qualified!’. We laughed. Every time I returned to the bathroom the surge was more intense.
I was hesitant to lean into it.
We changed scenery again and moved to the front room of our home, I wasn’t getting a rest between surges so we decided to contact our birth team again and let them know how we were going. They were really convinced that he was posterior and just said to stick with it but I knew I didn’t want to be at this level of intensity until the evening. The outside world was starting to blur and I was only able to speak with one very direct word at a time.
As every surge ran through my body, Zane would press on my hips. His touch was so grounding and supportive. He held me though every surge.
Despite what our birth team was saying, we decided to go with what was happening for us. Zane said 'let’s just fill the pool'. Fortunately Zane’s mum Sue was home and she helped us set up. As the pool filled, it felt like eternity, I couldn’t wait to get in there and was like an eager child on a road trip. ‘Is it ready yet?, is it ready yet?”.
When I finally immersed myself in the water I was met with blissful relief.
Zane was on the phone, back and forth with the birth team trying to explain to them that we were much further along than they thought. They seemed to have their idea what was happening and we had ours, so we just decided to let it go and focus on what was happening for us.
When the pool finally filled I gently eased myself into the waters, I can't use a better word than heaven to describe what it felt like getting in the water. It calmed, me soothed me and held me. I wasn’t in the pool long before I felt our baby starting to move down through my body. I was on all fours, I felt the urge to push and his head began to crown.
‘Gentle, gentle’ I said, as he opened me. We were so excited that it was happening.
Sue called our midwife and put her on speaker phone. As the next powerful surge came through my body, I pushed and roared as his head came out.
'Which way is he facing?’ I asked Zane, who was behind me, watching our baby enter the world through the water. Zane could see his squishy little face looking up at him. He wasn’t posterior at all. Together we chanted ‘All is well’, as my body gathered energy for the next surge. It came and consumed my entire being, I gave it everything I had, roaring with feminine power. I was met with blissful relief as his body left mine. Zane gently guided him through my legs and passed him up to me. I brought him up from the water.
His body was blue and limp, I waited for his breath, his cry.
Our midwife guided us to rub him and bring him into his body. I sucked the gunk from his nose and encouraged him to take his first breath. Our doula entered the room with a great surprise on her face and just in time to capture the miraculous moment, as Mokoan took his first breath and the rest of us sighed with relief. I felt an immense power and love as I held my son, tears of joy welled in Zane’s eyes. We had just become a family. Our midwives arrived soon after checking on us and helping to clean up. I birthed the placenta within the hour and took the best longest pee of my life! haha.
I was so elated and felt so complete. I was so happy that our birth team wasn’t there. Throughout the pregnancy I had listened to a lot of free birth stories and I wondered how independently we could do it. I certainly received my wish. I am so glad that we made the decision to birth at home, and take the whole process in our own hands.
Our bodies are made of billions of years of evolution! Mama Earth knows best and that’s what I trusted in. I allowed my body to guide me, I surrendered to my temple of evolution and she birthed perfectly.
As our birth team, family and housemates said they’re well wishes and goodbyes we were curled up in bed together, never to be the same again and wondering
‘Now what do we do?”.
